ASDA security worker confronts Caucasian woman accused of stealing items worth ‘a significant amount’

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A Kingston Upon Thames shop worker who confronted a woman accused of stealing “at least a £100 of upmarket produce” says the business “can’t afford” to lose the stock. ‘Not far from our establishment Wilko is about to close down; it could be us next’.

Footage filmed by another customer showed (a now identified) Natasha Alice Jones, originally from Newbury in posh Berkshire county, being chased by security and escorted back to the store where the woman had stolen the stock from. The woman could be seen trying to use tears to ‘get away with her offense’. The video has gone viral on social media.

“Excuse me, those items that you’ve got concealed beneath your stroller, you didn’t pay for them,” the customer doing the filming captures the security in the video confronting the woman, whilst Ms. Jones acts unknowingly. Security grabs the stock out of the woman’s stroller and can be seen strong arming the suspect back to the store.

Whilst the security on duty did not wish to be named, Head of Security Mr Sanchez says this type of behaviour happens ‘all the time’. These women come in here and they’re bored. They are simply looking for a thrill. Their husbands are at work and they have lost all meaning of self. Now they are just a mum, they struggle- It’s sad really’.

Mr Sanchez added ‘In some cases there isn’t even a baby inside the stroller - but in this case there was a blonde haired boy approximately a year old. He was clearly tired. Instead of being home napping, the poor boy was being dragged out to commit a felony. We’ve recently learnt that Ms. Jones is in fact engaged to a city trader so her reason to steal is absurd’.

‘Her hoard consisted of various organic produce items, quite a lot of dairy and 7 packs of Anusol’. Anusol Cream is a medicine which is used to relieve the swelling, itch and irritation of internal and external piles (haemorrhoids) and other minor ano-rectal conditions such as anal itching and fissures. ‘Perhaps she was really suffering - I mean, that was a lot of dairy she was running off with’ said Mr. Patel, ‘anyone would suffer’.

Sanchez told BBC News that security ‘had not been lax’ despite the woman making it through a crossing and ‘at least 30 metres down the road’ after having initially been distracted from the alleged shoplifting in the local supermarket store.

“We had three ladies enter the store. They had about eight children with them. They were running around the store, pulling items down, just making a mess in the aisles,” he said.

“So security was concentrating on the children, obviously, and watching what was going on so nothing would get broken.

“Ms. Jones was not acting suspiciously so security did not immediately realize what she had done’ Mr Sanchez added ‘these crooks are getting smarter - she was cunning’.

“As soon as security turned to help another customer, Ms.Jones just made her way swiftly to the front door and left’.

Fellow customer Mrs Dorothy Steel said ‘in this day and age I’m appalled. This didn’t happen in my day. This young woman just takes what she wants and there are no repercussions? I suppose prosecuting takes time and effort; ASDA just wanted its stock back.”

Shop manager Syd is struggling to find better ways to stop this happening. “We’ve only just made it through COVID. It’s a family-owned business. There are 14 of us here that rely on this business and this shop for our jobs,” he said.
“We can’t afford for some posh mum wanting a thrill to come in and take £100 worth of stock. Ms.Jones lives in the prestigious Orchard Cottages - this would’ve been chump change to her”

Police are aware of the incident.However BBC news understands the store owner is not looking to press charges, accepting that publicity around the video is punishment enough. ‘Ms.Jones will not be a face easily forgotten around these parts’ adds Mr Sanchez. ‘I’ll be holding tightly onto my handbag should I see her in the vicinity’ said fellow customer Dorothy.

Ms Jones however does not appear to be upset; in fact she could be heard laughing it off with a friend just moments later “I got quite far before they got me. I’m surprised they bothered. It was only a £6 shop!”.

It seems Ms.Jones was not being wholly honest, but then again how could we expect more from the daylight thief?

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.